I’m not sure how I feel about Provera. I started “brown blood bleeding” (scientific term) ever since the second pill….I’m trying to figure out what that indicates hormonally (most women only bleed AFTER 10 days of Provera), but I’ve had no such luck with my dysfunctional “bestie” Google in figuring that one out. I spoke to my doctor yesterday about whether or not I should continue to take all ten days of the pills. He said to keep taking them, and that I should get a “full flow” after I stop the Provera. The first “full flow” day will be my CD1.
Provera thus far has given me absolutely no period symptoms or side effects. In that way, I feel great, but I am sort of wishing for sore boobs, cramps, or something to indicate that SCFFF will arrive “normally” when all is said and done. I also hate having the brown blood weird stuff. It reminds me of the first time I got my period and thought I crapped my pants.
I feel like I’m in a holding pattern right now, and for someone very impatient, this is not a great thing. When I’m waiting and bored, I tend to Google really awful things like: “Progesterone birth defects”.
On a side note, Lisa, an old friend from elementary school just posted a random “hello” on my Facebook wall. The last time we saw each other was a little bit over a year ago when we were going out to dinner with another old friend of ours who announced at that dinner that she was 3 months pregnant. This was before I had started trying at all, so I was blissfully unaware of my journey ahead or the pain/jealousy that could ensue if this exact same dinner happened to me now. Life was puppy dogs and rainbows back then. I still lived in a world where penis + vagina = immediate babies.
This pregnant friend (we’ll call her Sarah) revealed that she had been “trying” for… TWO WHOLE MONTHS before she got pregnant! Again, this didn’t phase me because I didn’t have anything to compare it to. However, Lisa got a little quiet at the table when she was asked by Sarah if she and her husband were “trying”. Lisa revealed that she and her husband had been trying for about 8 months, and she had recently bought a really fancy digital BBT monitor in hopes of helping things along. Sarah began telling Lisa all of her “strategies” for getting pregnant like doing it every other day during your “fertile week” and all of the other bullshit that people who get pregnant in two months immediately advise. At the time, I thought Sarah was doing Lisa a huge favor by telling her all of this. But now I know that Lisa knew all of those “tricks” and was most likely sick of hearing them from a friend who was 3 months pregnant when she had been trying for 8 months. As I look at Lisa’s Facebook page, I see that she still has not announced a pregnancy, nor does she look pregnant in any of her recent pictures… I can’t help but wonder what sort of struggle she might be going through now, over a year later, and how much that dinner may have made her sad.