Well, since my self-imposed Operation Force Myself to Ovulate soy cycle, I’ve been monitoring my progress (somewhat lazily. I’ll temp every once in a while, but not diligently). I’m on CD 26 right now. If I were a normal functioning woman, my period would be coming in a few days…but no such luck, I’m afraid. I believe my ovaries will get an “N” for Needs Improvement this month. I got an “N” once in “Listens to and follows directions” from my bitchy 2nd grade teacher who hated me from day one. Dear Mrs. Douglas, I found out later on in life that you were going through a terrible divorce during that year I had you…and I still think you’re a rotten bitch for taking out your shitty relationship issues on seven year olds.
Back to the whole ovulation thing. I temped this morning and I’m at 97.3…meaning that I haven’t ovulated yet, and most likely won’t. Any time after I ovulate, my temp usually hovers around 98.7-99.1. The soy clearly did nothing for me. I suppose that in about a week, I will try the soy again, this time ramping it up a notch and seeing if it makes a difference.
In the 1800s, there were salesman that traveled from town to town selling “magical elixirs” that would cure all ailments. Some touted that they contained real “snake oil”. Of course, these magical treatments were nothing more than flavored water. Placebos. A hoax.
I know that so many people swear that they see positive benefits from natural medicine, and I don’t want to discount it…but there are times when I am popping my soy pills, or taking clay baths, or doing acupuncture… and I just feel like I’m being conned by a snake oil salesman. These thoughts are coming from a place of frustration right now. I know in my heart that some of these natural homeopathic methods have real benefits…I just haven’t seen any of them yet. I know so many women who swear by soy, and gush about their “soy babies”. I guess everyone’s body is different…it just makes me wonder if they would have ovulated on their own anyway, without the soy.
Today, I made a Green Monster for breakfast. It was a recipe passed down from The Cornfed Feminist through a recipe blog she reads, and now I will share it with you. It truly is hard to believe that this drink has about 4 CUPS of spinach in it. It tastes delicious!