Ok, forget what I said about the no spotting yesterday. Spotting continues today. This is starting to feel more like a “period”–except it’s a period one gets when they haven’t ovulated, but the body needs to purge. Kind of makes me unnerved, but hell, it’s the weekend. Time to relax, stop obsessing, booze it up, eat some sugar and cheese…oh wait a minute. Can’t do that, either. Damn.
Instead, I will eat olives, carrots, gluten free muffins, and stare obsessively at my pantyliner.
I hate the word “panty”.
I’m in a weird mood today. Work was crappy (I had to be not so nice in a meeting, and I’m usually overly nice, so I feel doubly bad any time I say something that indicates I’m pissed off). I also realized today that for the last oh, I dunno, 250 days, I’ve thought about my ovaries, vaginal fluids, and uterus every single day, multiple times per day. What must it be like to never really give those organs a thought? It feels crushing to me sometimes to think that I will never stop this cycle of constantly thinking about my reproductive organs.How do I stop? To stop feels like I have given up.
I just want one really really crazy bitch ass lie in bed moaning with blood everywhere period. My body is craving that right now. It’s hard to explain…I know it sounds weird…but this is my one wish this Friday the 13th. I want a period that knocks me on my ass and hits an official RESET button.
Happy weekend, party peeps! I’ll be here in rainy LA praying for cramps and menstrual fluid.
****UPDATE!!!!!***** Mayday. Mayday. Seriously? Seriously. I post this entry, and not an hour later, I have blood. ACTUAL BLOOD, PEOPLE!!!! This has not happened for me since (I shit you not) September of 2011!! Looks like SCFF has shown up on my doorstep, bags and all. Please, make yourself at home in my tampon, SCFF. TAMPON! I need a tampon!! Yaaaaaayyyyy!!!