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I’m awsome.

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Against my wishes, my ovaries just got a tattoo:

Yes, ovaries. You certainly are awsome.

It’s CD21, and I need to accept that this cycle is officially a bust. No more ferning on my ovulation slides, a few failed ovulation tests, erratic BBT, low, hard, closed cervix, and sticky CM. Take the hint, Sunny.

I just keep thinking back to that uncomfortable look on my gyno’s face last week when he was trying to make it seem like I still had a “slim” possibility of ovulating. I’m not a dumb ass. I could see the writing on the wall even then with my shitty 7mm folicle. I fucking HATE when people try and spare the truth. (rant).

Nope, these ovaries aren’t ovulating this month. The lights are on, the bar’s closing up, and my ovaries are just starting to look sweaty and ugly now.

Time to go home now, ovaries. Time to go home.

My ovaries laughed in the face of 50mg of Clomid. Laughed, and probably formed a whole bunch of cysts which are now sitting there releasing testosterone into my system, thus further preventing ovulation. Dr. Good Eggs called and left a message a couple of days ago about my testosterone blood test results. A normal range for a pre-menopausal woman is between 15-40ish. Mine was 78. Basically, I’m lucky I don’t have a full beard and balls right now. I feel like it will be very difficult to ovulate with my testosterone levels the way they are, and I’m almost doubting that it will be worth 100mg of Clomid right now if my system is so screwed with the hormone levels. But try I will.

He says the Met should help with the testosterone levels, and I have been taking 2,000mg religiously for the last week. I’ve had a few bloating episodes, and the occasional bowel issues, but nothing close to what I had worried about. 6 months from now (which feels like an eternity), I will get another test to see if my testosterone levels have gone down.

I know that I’m not even close to exhausting my ovulation options–I’ve really just begun dipping my toe into fertility meds…but I just wanted a “win”, you know?

On the flip side, I went on my first long run in a very long time yesterday. 7 miles, and I am HURTING today, but it made me remember how much I loved running, and how good it is for my anxiety levels and overall well being. I’m hoping to go on another shorter run today, and keep it up.

Happy Labor Day Weekend (I feel ironic writing this on an IF blog.)


About Sunny

I'm a happily married, 31 year old gal who is just starting her journey to conceive. I also have ovaries that may need a jump start. This blog is an attempt to channel my obsessive research on my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome into something a pregnancy test. That would be awesome. I also hope that other women with this condition will find support in this blog. There are a lot of us out here! Happy reading, whatever your journey may be.

6 responses »

  1. We IFers are still laboring. Laboring to get through this shit in one piece. Sorry about your ovaries. Mine suck, too.

  2. Sorry about the ovaries, lady. I hope the Met kicks the testosterone’s ass.

  3. Ugh…that is a bummer. It drives me nuts when people try to give me false hope too….especially in relation to something so physically, emotionally, and financially draining! Keep on trucking….a higher dose may be just the ticket.

  4. Running is the best therapy. Too bad you can’t kick testosterone’s ass with your running shoes.

  5. This is #683 why I wish you lived closer- we could be running buddies! Sometimes a long run is exactly what you need to kick your own ass. It’s hard for me to freak and panic when I’m grunting through a run. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I feel your pain abt clomid. 50 didnt work for me either. And definitely give 100 a try and maybe even 150, but as you work your way up an start to feel crazy in the head..its not
    Worth your sanity. In the end..i wish i hadnt wasted so many months on clomid and stupid opks, as shots to the gut are more effective and take the guessing game out of it. No more temping, opks, etc. but who knows..for
    Some people, 100 is the magic clomid dose. Now go shave your beard..but keep the balls, that’s just impressive.

  6. Way to go on the running! Seven miles is quite a ways. It feels so good to get out there and work off some steam.

    50mg of Clomid really is a low dose, so you aren’t out of the game with the Clomid yet. It’s great that your doc is monitoring though. Then you will be able to see if it actually works instead of wasting time not ovulating. As you said, you are just dipping your toe in the water. Hopefully the next step will be more productive.


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