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Post labor day brain dump

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This entry will be more housekeeping in nature. Goodness knows, I don’t want you lovely readers to miss one single second of my enormously fabulous life.

The last four days consisted of:

1. A really fun sushi dinner with Hubs and his friend. I knew there was no way I had ovulated, so salmon and yellowtail were all mine…MINE. Actually, I know this may be taboo in some circles, but I most likely will not give up sushi completely during pregnancy should I be able to conceive my own little personal handroll. The millions of Japanese women who rely on fish as a staple seem to have happy, healthy babies all the time.

Dear God, please let me conceive, simply so I can buy this Halloween costume for my newborn. Amen.

2. After the sushi dinner, we hung out at our house for a little while. Hubs played piano and we sang Jesus Christ Superstar and a really bad version of “No Day But Today” from Rent. Then Hubs’ friend left and we sang Little Shop. Damnit that musical is near perfect. Seriously. I cry a little bit inside when I think that I will never come close to writing a musical like that.

3. After about 10 years of swearing it off due to the fact that it makes me highly paranoid, anxietal, and jittery, Hubs and decided to smoke weed together for the first time (what am I, 12?). I should preface the whole weed smoking thing with the fact that I have a sister who lives in San Francisco (not the uber fertile one in Santa Cruz) who is a bit of a pot connoisseur. After explaining to her my woes about feeling like I need a straightjacket every time I smoked, she pulled out this elaborate chart which explained the nuances of weed (who knew!) and then promptly got me a bag of something that smelled like a skunk up and died in there. The stuff I used to get as a teen was basically glorified oregano, so I was 110% convinced that this medicinal grade stuff would multiply my paranoia ten fold and have me shivering in a corner somewhere. Au contrair, mon frairinas! Whatever the hell nuance this weed was, it was the calmest, most relaxing, kick back on the couch, world is my oyster kind of experience I’ve ever had with the stuff. Hubs and I watched “Zapped” (starring a post-Chachi, pre-Charles in Charge Scott Baio), laughed stupidly at the gratuitous boobs in the movie, and ate Skinny Cows. I’m not saying I’ll be a full time pot head now, but damnit, that was a relaxing way to spend a Saturday night.

4. I ran 7 miles on Saturday and could barely walk the rest of the weekend. However, Hubs admired/squeezed my butt and said something along the lines of, “Damn, that butt is awesome.” The comment left me giddy.

What I think I look like.

Closer to what I actually look like.

5. We hosted a BBQ for 12 friends on Monday. In the process of cleaning the patio furniture , we came across a big bunch of these under the corner of a couple of chairs:

Hello creepy looking balls of alien spores.

After trying to release them from their webs to clean the chairs…I spotted a motionless spider curled up in a crevasse next to what I now assumed to be spider eggs. I tapped the wood near its body and it didn’t budge.

Me: I think it’s dead.

Hubs: (shakily) Umm…I don’t know. I wouldn’t touch it.

Me: (tapping the wood near it) See? Not budging.

Hubs: (eerily calm) I just Googled “black widow eggs” and this image came up.

Hubs and I turned to look at each other.

Hubs: I hate nature.

Armed with a can of Raid and huge purple rubber kitchen gloves, Hubs did his manly duty and sprayed the chair. As soon as he did, the spider I thought was dead (and was basically taunting with my stupid twig) jumped out of its nest. In a hail of Raid fury, Hubs sent the widow to its maker. Upon further internet searching, we found out that it was actually a brown widow, not a black widow, and we felt bad the rest of the day for killing an innocent spider who did nothing wrong but build her nest under our cheap patio furniture.

RIP brown widow. You tried to procreate, but our cheap burgers and dogs took precedence over your babies. Please don’t punish us karmicly for this.

6. I took my Day 21 blood test yesterday (it was technically Day 23, but given the holiday weekend, it was the best I could do.) I’ll find out the results of progesterone and estradiol levels today.

Hope everyone had a relaxing weekend!



About Sunny

I'm a happily married, 31 year old gal who is just starting her journey to conceive. I also have ovaries that may need a jump start. This blog is an attempt to channel my obsessive research on my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome into something a pregnancy test. That would be awesome. I also hope that other women with this condition will find support in this blog. There are a lot of us out here! Happy reading, whatever your journey may be.

15 responses »

  1. I’m with ya on the sushi. I ate it when I was pregnant with the triplets…and, gasp! Nothing happened. It’s a healthy meal so I figured I would chose it over the burger and fries option other pregnant people may select. 🙂

  2. I’m a huge square and I’ve never tried pot. Never even smoked a cigarette. Pathetic, no?

    Poor brown spider. 😦 Where’s an entomologist when you need one?

  3. First of all…AMAZING Halloween costume!

    Second of all…I used to be that way when I smoked pot when I was younger. I do it occasionally these days and it’s a way better experience! Glad you enjoyed yourself 🙂

  4. 1. I may have eaten a spicy tuna roll a couple months ago. No ill effects yet.

    2. I love that you guys have sing-a-longs with your friends. I love it so much it makes me tear up.

    3. Next time (you know there will be a next time) watch Planet Earth, on blu-ray if possible. It is so amazingly awesome. Also, freeze peppermint patties and get the sensation. The coolness of the mint helps with the dryness of the mouth.

    4. I’m sure your ass looks awesome, even in mom jeans.

    5. Shutthefuckup that is the craziest shit I’ve ever seen. Does it really matter what color the widow is? Black, brown? Don’t discriminate. Raid it up. Does this make your hubs a widow widow maker?

    6. Fingers crossed!

    • HAHAHA!! Oh, how I’ve missed you, Katie m’dear. I WILL–repeat, WILL be trying the Planet Earth Peppermint Patty shit within the next month.

      • I’ll be there in spirit! If you run or workout hard earlier in the day, treat yourself to frozen chocolate covered cream puffs. The hubby and I devoured an entire container of them the last time we partook and it was amazing. But not quite as “healthy” as a peppermint pattie.

  5. You are too funny! You are a natural at entertaining blogging.

    I hear you on the pot. Usually when I smoked it, though (only a handful of times), I got really spacey and dumb and had difficulty following even the most basic conversations. I wouldn’t remember anything and would get paranoid over what I might have said to someone. I swore it off for good after consuming an “edible” some time ago and feeling like I couldn’t breathe and experiencing numbness all over my body. I freaked out, but my husband (who went to school in the pot capital of the country) assured me that I would be fine and that nobody has died from ODing on pot. 🙂 From what you wrote, maybe I haven’t tried the right varieties. I know lots of people who use it like wine to just relax and wind-down at the end of the day.

    All I have to say is that I think it’s great you’re enjoying your life and not being overly restrictive with yourself. We all know people who get pregnant doing the worst things, so having a little fun now and then doesn’t hurt. I went to New York City last weekend to visit my sister and had tons of alcohol. I don’t do it regularly, but I doubt I’m pregnant, and even if I was, it would only be a few days along. I can’t keep putting my life on hold- it only adds to the madness.

    What a small world. I read that your sister lives in Santa Cruz, and that’s where I grew up!

    • Cool you grew up on the west coast! BTW–the last time I ate an “edible” was the. single. worst. pot experience I ever had. Numbness, heart palpitations, and a paranoia that I was going to die that lasted for 4 or 5 hours. AWFUL!!

  6. PS- I would feel sad about the spider, too. I’m the type who “rescues” them from the shower, but I’ve been known to kill a scary-looking type called a jumping spider that I recently learned is harmless. So, I know your pain.

  7. Sushi and weed, sounds like a good couple of days to me!

  8. I love this post!!!!!! Hands down, my favorite post I’ve ever read. Amen to everything, thanks for the laughs and the pot sounds amazing!!! LOVE YOU!


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