I debated writing this post, because I have purposely avoided getting overly “political” on this blog, but I’m afraid it’s unavoidable today. There are some things I just cannot let slide. It’s in reference to a blog post I read yesterday as I was catching up with some of my reading since being gone last week. Frankly, the post was so off-putting, I was tempted to comment directly in the blog post, even though this person has been a loyal follower since Day 1 of my blog. But…I decided I had too much to say on the matter for her comments section. Instead, I will post a response here, and elect not to read her blog ever again. Peace out, homegirl. You fall under the “life is too short” or, “I’d rather pick my toenail cheese” categories. I’m not linking to the post because I’m a generally considerate person who doesn’t want this blogger to be barraged, but felt it important to counteract her bigotry (yes, I said “that word”) with some positive internet juju.
I realize that this entry may inflame some people, in which case, I truly, deeply, from the bottom of my heart, ask you to stop reading my blog. Seriously. Homophobia wrapped in a thinly veiled attempt to espouse “Christian Values” “Muslim Values”, “Jewish Values”, or “Whateverthefuck You Want to Practice” is one thing that is zero tolerance in my book. And please don’t spout bible quotes at me…I’m a Jew, remember? I’m going to hell. I’ll be taken care of on judgement day. (rolls eyes)
In response to this month’s writing prompt, this person proudly answered this question:
October 14: What is the greatest compliment you ever received?
“Well, I decided to support Chick-Fil-A, not because I’m against gay people, because that’s hardly the case, but because I wanted to support a company and its CEO for standing up for Christian values I happen to agree with. When I posted a photo of my meal on Facebook, a friend of my mom’s who is gay got very upset with me and wasn’t afraid to let me know how he felt about my choice of meals on that particular day. I did my best to remain calm and separate the two issues of gay marriage vs. Christianity, and reiterated how I don’t hate gay people, but was accused of being a bigot and my professionalism as a counselor came into question. Some of my friends and family stepped in to defend me, including one friend of Chris’s who said he thought I was the last person on earth who would ever discriminate and that I had a kind heart. It meant a lot to see this reflection of my character from another person and validated that I am not a horrible person. I may have different beliefs from many, and we may disagree about the best way to do things, but I would never act in an unkind way to someone because of the choices they have made or because of the situation they are in. It was good to know that my efforts hadn’t gone unnoticed and that my actions support my intentions.”
So, let me get this straight ( pun intended): Your biggest accomplishment (we’re talking BIG here) was standing up for your “Christian values” (God, I love putting quotes around those two words) by supporting a company who openly discriminates against gay people (who you claim you’re not against, although screw giving them equal rights to marry the people they love), and then patting yourself on the back for being “the last person on Earth who would ever discriminate”. You also say that you would “never act in an unkind way to someone because of the choices they have made” and in the same paragraph, mention your Facebook photo post of you enjoying your yummy and delicious Chick-Fil-A meal. Do you understand how fucked this logic is?
This reader even linked to an article supporting her views to
discriminate against gay people support Chick-Fil-A and their “Christian Values” from none other than…surprise! Fake FOX News! Thanks for the education on this matter. I was able to catch other riveting links on the side bar of this article including: “15 Black Celebrities who Are Affiliated with the Republican Party”, which is awesome, because I have, like, two black friends. (rolls eyes yet again).
You, blogger, yes, I’m talking to you (you know who you are.) You’ve posted many times about how hard it is to see pictures of friends with babies on Facebook because they have something you so desperately want, and it kills you a little bit inside to see them have this, and show it off, and not understand how damn hard it is to be without a child. Can you do a little soul searching? A little (just a little!) reflection on what your smug Chick-Fil-A photo post feels like to an openly gay person? Or someone who has been terrified of coming out of the closet? How about those gay men and women who so desperately want to raise a family? My guess is, your “Christian Values” tell you that these loving people should be denied that right as well. But your desperation for a family is all good with God because you happen to be straight.
How about the “Christian Value” of infertility in general. There are, I’m certain, many people whose “Christian Values” dictate that anything other than sexual intercourse to procreate is immoral. Heck, masturbation is immoral, so forget being able to jizz in a cup for an IUI. Forget Clomid, Femara, or injectables–if you don’t ovulate on your own, it’s not part of God’s plan. Let’s not even get started on IVF. Now, imagine if you were walking into your RE’s office to get a procedure like this done, and you were confronted with a bunch of angry people with all of their children, shouting that your Christian Values are out of whack and that you are immoral for using medicine to start a family. Or if politicians started using “those immoral infertiles” as platforms for their campaigns. Insane, right? Yes, it is insane.
In the 1950s, there were many people whose “Christian Values” dictated that they would not marry, sit next to, or drink from the same fountain as a black person. They looked a bit like this:
Today, these people look like this:
The most terrifying thing to me about this blogger’s post is how she truly believes she is not homophobic in any way. Just like those who protested interracial marriage in the 50s and 60s truly believed they were not racist.
I’ve mentioned my Grandma Sunny on this blog before (aka–one of the most compassionate, understanding, fearless women I know). In 1988, after 35 years of unhappy marriage to my grandfather, she divorced him and came out as a lesbian. She met a woman and lived with her for 20 years. They never saw any wedding registries, health benefits, or tax benefits from their living arrangement. For the majority of her adult life, Sunny lived in fear of being discovered–I mean, shit. If it’s this bad for gays now, can you imagine what it was like in the 50s?
Sunny is also a blogger like me. She doesn’t know I keep this blog, as I’m trying to keep it private from family. A few weeks ago, she wrote a post about what it was like for her to attend my wedding. If you have a moment, please read it–especially you, Chick-Fil-A blogger. The words were so powerful, they made me cry. It made think a little bit harder about this picture of Sunny, taken during our wedding ceremony–my most loving, ridiculously brave and wonderful grandmother, crying not only out of happiness for me, but sadness of what might never be in her lifetime.
So tie up your homophobia in your pretty little bow and call it “Christian Values”, post your Chick-Fil-A meal all over your Facebook page, and tell us all about how you have, like, at least 3 gay friends, so that must mean you loooooove gay people. You’re not convincing me.