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I’m with Stupid. Literally.

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Pssst. Guess what?

I don’t think your weekend was better than mine.

Why, you ask?

Two words.

Stupid. Stork.

That’s right. Start hatin’. I met one of the funniest, smartliest, best writerliest bloggesses on the interwebs on Friday, and holy shit, this girl DOES NOT disappoint in real life, people. If you have never read her blog, please get your ass over there right now.

I was admittedly nervous to meet Jenny, namely because I may be the most awkward small talker ever, and have been known to fill long silences with painfully bad comments like “These fries taste very potato-y.” The only other times I met someone off the internet was during my JDate years, and so from those experiences, I had residual PTSD that Jenny would somehow greet me as a balding, awkward, sweaty Jewish guy.

Not so, my friends. Not so. After about 30 seconds of chatting with her knew without a doubt that I would be friends with this girl, even if IF never entered the picture and both of us had magical Michelle Dugger uteri.

We kicked off IFF (Infertile Fridays) with a meal at Ruby’s–a cute little diner that I (weirdly enough) worked at in high school. The best thing about meeting up with a fellow IF blogger is that the bullshit has already been cut through and I never have to worry about her saying something like, “Jayden’s in the 99th% percentile for height!.” or, “Don’t you guys want kids?”Β  Instead, we seamlessly alternated between stories on how we met our partners in crime, to jack off rooms in the RE’s office. After dinner, we headed over to the movie theater where I nervously purchased my ticket to see Sinister.

Confession: I am a huge. HUGE. baby when it comes to horror films. (ask Jenny–she’s still healing from my claw marks in her arm). The entire movie was spent either with my hands in front of my face, screaming like a little bitch in Jenny’s shoulder, or annoying the 16 year old boys sitting next to us by muttering “ohmygod, ohmygod…” under my breath.

Bottom line? Jenny is completely fabulous. We are fully intending on pulling more infertile shennanigans around LA some time in the near future, and hope that we can get a good group of us locals together. I will be posting more details about this next week. Hint: it will not involve a trip to the Grove, Color Me Mine, or any other place where smug fertiles and their offspring congregate. So if you’re anywhere near LA, please keep a date in November open for an outing.

When I got home, Hubs was at a birthday party, so I was home alone. In my dark, creaky house. After watching a movie with a psycho demon child eater and whispering children who draw on walls. In my moment of stellar judgement, I thought smoking some pot would be good to help me relax. Instead, it made me highly paranoid, and I basically had two legitimate heart attacks after hearing a very loud creak coming from the living room. My text messages to Hubs went something like this:

Me: 10:30PM: I’m home, where are you?

Me: 11:00PM: Hey, where are you?

(smokes pot)

Me: 11:30PM: ?????

(smoke more pot, fully believes her husband has been in a fatal accident)

Me: 12PM: Can you please text me back? Your phone is not letting me leave voicemails.

Me: 12:15: Ok. Text me back NOW. I’m getting worried.

Hubs: 12:20 Hey cutie! We’re at Olde King’s Head. Come by!

(waaaaay too high, trying to play it cool, and fully believing that there is a demon child murderer in the house )

Me: 12:21 Too late. I smked pot an cent drive.

Hubs: 12:22 Boooo

Me: 12:23 A demon may or may not be in our house.

Hubs: ??

Me: Just roll me over and do me when you get home.

(passes out).





About Sunny

I'm a happily married, 31 year old gal who is just starting her journey to conceive. I also have ovaries that may need a jump start. This blog is an attempt to channel my obsessive research on my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome into something a pregnancy test. That would be awesome. I also hope that other women with this condition will find support in this blog. There are a lot of us out here! Happy reading, whatever your journey may be.

20 responses »

  1. I can’t even begin to describe my jealousy right now. I might have to fly into LA just to hang out with you and Jenny. That says a lot seeing as I’m terrified of flying! Also, you just gave me a great idea as to what I would like to do right now πŸ™‚

    Come to MD! Your grandmother misses you. She told me so.

    • I *think* I know what that thing might be! πŸ™‚ Haha. Let’s find a way to get your butt on a plane. Jenny and I will chip in for whatever tranquilizers you need. It would be so fun to meet!!! If I’m ever near the MD area, I am SO looking you up.

  2. Omg, this is the funniest post ever… man, you wanna know awkward? Going on JDates when you’re living in the West Bank. That’s pretty much where my husband was at before we got together and he was ELATED to delete that account. πŸ™‚

    Why are all the cool girls in L.A.?? Um, if you gals ever want to visit the hoppin’ metropolis of Toronto, just know you are more than welcome. πŸ™‚

    • Omg!!! I had no idea you were in Toronto!! I get out there at least 2 times a year, as my home office is there. I’ll make sure to let you know when I’m out there next πŸ™‚

  3. I’m gonna smooch you so hard. Right on the mouth. Right. on the. mouth.

  4. Hahahahahaha! That text convo is priceless πŸ˜‰ I’m so super jealous of your meet up. The Professor and I were hoping to invade southern Cali for Christmas this year but now it looks like we’ll be up in Mill Valley, Los Gatos and some place with a kick ass aquarium (can’t remember at 4:30 a.m.) Hopefully I’ll be LIVING out there next year and meet ups will be a little less ridiculous!

  5. Ohhhh, why are you all in America? I want to join in the fun. I am so glad you had such a lovely day.

  6. OMG, this is freaking hilarious! I love horror movies, and am insanely jealous that you found a fellow IF friend in your area.

  7. Hello! Clicked on over from Stupid Stork, she is a legend! Love this post, love that you met up with Jenny and love that you still smoke pot, not least after a movie that looks WAAAY too scary for me to ever watch and certainly not get stoned after! Brilliant!

  8. Super Jealous of both of you! Not of the scary movie part though. I couldn’t do it. Only one post and I can tell you are as wicked awesome as Jenny so I will be following you now πŸ™‚

  9. I was so cranky, and you have lifted my moody Monday spirits. Thank you!

    So glad that you had a IF bloggy friend date. They are the best!

  10. I was having a terrible, no-good very bad day, and then I read this and literally spit coffee all over my keyboard. πŸ™‚ I think I’ve sent my husband the exact same series of texts. Like, for real. We are a strange bunch, us infertiles. Haha.

  11. Ummm….I want to move to LA just to hang out with you two…sounds like so much fun! Found you from Stupid Storks blog and am anxious to see your vlog!!!

  12. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again…JEALOUS!! yeah the hatin’ started sometime in the middle of the night sometime over the marathon work weekend….

    I love the text conversation….and I think you’re probably OK with the demon…he/she must like you or you wouldn’t have been able to write this…but I’m still jealous…

    NOW WHERE IS YOU VLOG WOMAN?! (Ironically auto correct originally changed woman to womb? WTF is that?)


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