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Stupid vanishing symptoms

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The first week I found out I was pregnant, my uterus sort of felt like there was a party going on in it at all times. I felt cramps, some pressure, lots of reassurances to let me know that things were moving in there.

This week?

I got nothing.

And it’s freaking me the hell out.

Sure, I have some mild tiredness, my boobs/nips are still sore, and I’m constipated like a mo fo, but that’s it. Other than that, I feel completely and utterly normal.

I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL NORMAL RIGHT NOW!!

I want to be dry heaving into the toilet, falling asleep at my desk, and barely able to scrape myself off the floor. I want my ute to put on its big girl pants and a party hat, and give me some signs that things are safely, normally, and pregnantly brewing in there.  This vanishing symptom bullshit is seriously mind fucking me right now.

I don’t think I’m going in at 6 weeks for an ultrasound, either.

I know–I’m a glutton for suspense.

Here’s my rationale: The only day I can do it next week would be Tuesday, and I’d only be 6 weeks 1 day along which is still in that grey zone as to whether it’s too soon to see a heartbeat. I’d rather wait until the following week 7 when we’re either going to see something awesome and amazing, or we’ll know that things are not going well. I am not a “maybe” sort of girl. I need to get as close to certain as I can get with all of this.

Aside from all of my bitching about ghost symptoms, I am so grateful for this experience. I’m trying to stay grounded in the present and enjoy every last waking moment of pregnancy, however long it lasts …but it’s so hard to keep my hopes from wandering where they shouldn’t go. I think about a holiday dinner where we can announce the good news, a flicker and “whoosh” sound of a heartbeat, really knowing that there is someone growing there…it all feels just out of my grasp right now, and I know that the only thing I can do is be here in the moment of it all. I don’t want to lose any of these moments, as they feel so precious and precarious right now.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you all have a very warm and relaxing holiday.

 

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About Sunny

I'm a happily married, 31 year old gal who is just starting her journey to conceive. I also have ovaries that may need a jump start. This blog is an attempt to channel my obsessive research on my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome into something positive....like a pregnancy test. That would be awesome. I also hope that other women with this condition will find support in this blog. There are a lot of us out here! Happy reading, whatever your journey may be.

12 responses »

  1. I am praying that you get bombarded with symptoms ASAP!! I totally get that. My boobs stopped hurting this morning and I freaked out. But, then a couple hours later they started hurting again. It is just such a scary thing to be pregnant…I don’t want this taken away. I wish I could fast forward through these months and just have the baby in my arms. I totally agree with you about the ultrasound thing. Sending hugs!!!!

    Reply
  2. Well, the good news is that you’re not alone in Vanishing Symptom Land. Mine come and go with no rhyme or reason. I’ll tell ya, when my constipation disappeared, I was scared out of my mind. Just try to remember that the best sign is not having BAD symptoms, like bleeding and pain.

    I don’t blame you for wanting to put off the ultrasound until week 7. You have to do what you’ll feel best about. No need to put yourself through any unnecessary stress, especially now.

    Reply
  3. I just wrote a blog entry that was similar to this. It’s so hard to be pregnant before the ultrasound!! and i hear you about vanishing symptoms. Mine keep popping up and then going away and it’s driving me crazy. I also want to be on the floor dry-heaving. But Jenny is right, the best sign is no bad signs and i think we both need to remember that.

    you are a trooper for waiting until 7 weeks. i can’t wait for my 6wk u/s next week. i know it’s still early but i need something to give me an indication of what’s going on.

    hang in there and hope you have a great turkey day.

    Reply
  4. Aw… just keep telling yourself that SOOO many women never have symptoms and it turns out fine. PLUS your boobies are sore, which is a symptom. And you aren’t bleeding. And cramps at this point might be a bad thing, so feel good! If you’re having total paranoid thoughts, just pee on a stick and take comfort in a dark-as-fuck second line. 🙂

    I agree with your 7-week theory, btw… heartbeat or no heartbeat. You want a clear answer. Except all of us following you want to know even earlier because of course we’re more impatient than even you are.

    Reply
  5. I remember learning something about how your progesterone and other hormones continue to rise and peak around the 8th/9th week, then start to fall after that, so as the weeks go on you will likely feel more sick. I don’t think morning sickness is common in the 5th or 6th week, so I hope that’s reassuring.

    Reply
  6. I agree with the other Jenny! As long as you’re not having BAD signs… Just think of those normal fertile people who have so little symptoms they don’t even realize they’re pregnant this early.

    Annnnnd again, with PCOS – our ‘normal’ when we’re not pregnant feels waaaaay closer to pregnancy than the average bear. I’m not worried!

    Reply
  7. I don’t think I REALLY had consistent symptoms until 7 or 8 weeks. Then I was so nauseous I couldn’t sit upright. Keep those bad thoughts out!!!

    Reply
    • Same here, although mine started around 6 to 6.5 weeks. It’s still a little early for a lot of symptoms. As the other ladies have said, no period is a symptom! Sore boobs is a symptom! You are amazing waiting for a seven week ultrasound. Good luck to you!

      Reply
  8. I wouldn’t worry too much. I hardly had any symptoms and the few I did have came and went just like yours. Though I know its impossible to not worry….

    Reply
  9. I totally understand- I would get paranoid, too- but I bet that everything is okay! I think we infertiles really get the miracle of pregnancy, and so we notice and obsess over stuff that other women don’t notice. I agree that many people’s symptoms come and go- and some don’t really have many at all! I hope that everything is great, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

    Reply
  10. I totally get where you’re coming from! During the brief period I was pg I went from feeling symptomless and scared (but also relieved and enjoying my lovely glow and weight loss) to feeling like SHIT in less than 24 hours. It was instant. One friday I was sitting at my desk googling: 6 weeks pregnant no symptoms! and the next day I was gripping the car door handle as we drove to meet my inlaws for lunch as I tried to manage the weirdest most unpredictable “nausea” I have ever experienced.

    Your body will cooperate soon and then we’ll all support you as you moan about feeling so weird words can’t even describe it 🙂

    Reply

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