Last week’s horrific tragedy has been a constant gnawing pit in my stomach. It’s an event that I simply cannot wrap my brain around. It is too painful to imagine the confusion and the terror and the absolute bewilderment of these poor young kids as they stared down the barrel of an automatic weapon. The gunning down of anyone is horrific. The gunning down of 6 year old children…it hits on something deep and primal that goes beyond any adjectives or descriptors for the heinousness of the act.
I think about my ultrasound today–Bagel was tucked in there, heart beating away at 185bpm. I beamed as I watched his little heart flicker away. It hit me that all of those parents who lost children (be they among the young ones, or adults who lost their lives) had these same moments with their children–the joy of hearing their little one’s heart beating for the first time, the knowledge that there they were, growing and developing into little people who they could finally kiss and hug. They had hope for them. They said, Anything is possible for you, little one.
I am so happy that Bagel is healthy, and yet, I am so torn apart that there are 26 parents out there today who have had to experience the most horrific tragedy I could think of: the loss of a child.
I have decided not to write a big post about gun control–if you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you probably can sense my views on the issue. Plus, Stupid Stork just wrote an amazing post that basically summarizes all of my feelings on this perfectly. I find it pretty impossible to have a gun “debate” with the nut jobs who simply recite the 2nd Amendment like the Constitution is some holy tablet akin to the 10 Commandments. It’s sort of like debating with a five year old who doesn’t like bed time “because”. “Debate” means presenting facts in a logical, rational, well thought out, semi-intelligent and articulated way, and listening vs. bullying. So, to “debate” this issue with the “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” people is akin to me slamming my head in a door a few hundred times, and makes me sad for humanity. The good news is, there are politicians smarter than me, and more able to endure the absolute stupidity of some people in this nation, who will be introducing the Assault Weapons Ban again, and I feel very strongly that it will pass (thanks, President Bush, for not renewing it in 2004, by the way!)
Bagel, thank you for being healthy and hopefully happy in there. Your dad and I love you very very much already. To the parents of Newtown who have lost their children: there are no words that can take away the grief you will live with every day now. But we will hold you up when you feel too weak. We will rage against the policies that made it possible for this to happen to someone you love. And we will yell, kick and scream until something is done to change gun laws in the United States of America.