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Monthly Archives: July 2013

39 weeks

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Am I really here? 39 weeks feels exciting and surreal, and I think that maybe some uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms are finally catching up with me.

Bagel feels like she weighs a ton. I don’t know what happened in the last couple of weeks but the difference I feel in her body mass as I move around or turn over in bed is drastic. I feel her entire body sort of roll around in my stomach when I roll. I’m often a bit paranoid when I sleep on one side and can feel her arm or leg push at me as if she’s uncomfortable in the position that I’ve chosen. Sorry Bagel! I need to sleep, too, ya know.

She has noticeably moved down in my pelvis to a point where I am now experiencing occasional sharp shooting pains in my, um, rectum. Anyone else ever had this happen? It’s no joke, I tell ya. I will feel her wiggle down or stretch, and all of a sudden there will be this intense pressure on my cervix and rectum, and then excruciating shooting pains in that area to a point where I’ve yelped and buckled to the floor. The pain subsides after about 30 seconds, but you have got to be shitting me if this is what I’m in for with labor, only more intense…I am actually kind of terrified. These pains happen about 1-2 times per day.  I am wondering if this is a symptom of some internal hemorrhoids, or if this is just par for the course when the baby drops? I have not tried stool softeners or laxatives at all during this pregnancy, but I am heading out later tonight to buy some Miralax in hopes that I may be able to clean out my pipes and relieve some of the pressure off my internal rectal area.

In other “bodily functions I wouldn’t usually discuss with the world” news,  my vag has decided that now would be a GREAT time to start itching. The itch is concentrated on the inner side of the outer lips, and not anywhere internal which makes me question whether or not it’s a yeast infection. Heat rash? It’s certainly not from shaving down there (I’m Amazonian again…) I have an OB appointment on Tuesday, and I will bring it up to him. The weird thing is, there is no reddness or bumps, only itchiness…WTF? I have been popping acidophilus pills like some sort of Celebrity Rehab flunky and meticulously cleaning the area with a wash cloth even after I pee, but the itch has not gone away after a few days. Grrr.

Finally, it’s been hitting me in a major way that I will be a mom to this little girl in a couple of weeks or less…It feels so overwhelming and incomprehensible to me at this point. I have to believe everything will just “click” when she comes out and I see her for the first time, but to try to put my head in that place mentally right now is sort of beyond me…Right now, Bagel is this ethereal little creature that moves around in my stomach and pokes her tiny butt out of the middle of my abdomen occasionally. I can’t help but pat that cute little bump every time I see it, and when I do, she moves around. I can’t tell if I’m annoying her at this point, but darn it, it’s so damn cute.


Roids and Gynos

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38 weeks, 3 days pregnant, and I have the hemorrhoids to prove it. Sweet Jesus. I’ve never had them this bad…not to get too graphic, but they are…umm…protruding, and not only are they painful, they look hideous. The fact that I have them this badly now, before pushing a 7 or 8 pound baby out has me basically terrified that my asshole will look something like this after birth:


I have started to dread going to the bathroom because of the pain and aftermath of each poo. Witch Hazel pads are doing SHIT for me right now, by the way. Pun intended. Anyone have another better natural remedy? Taking a sitz bath helps, but I don’t always have access to a tub. I’m carrying wipes with me now in my purse to keep the area as clean as possible, but I think the ‘roids are something I’m going to have to just live with for a while.

I had my 38 week appointment with my OB on Monday. This was the first appointment where he checked my cervix to see what was going on. Hubs decided to come with me for this one, and I jokingly asked him how it felt to stand around and watch another man probe my vagina.

He responded by looking at me like this:

I am not amused by your gynecologist.

I am not amused by your gynecologist.


After a minute or so of digging around, OB let us know that Bagel’s head was at a “minus 2” station, and wedged in there pretty well, which is a good sign that she is engaged and ready for action some time…soon? Evidently labor usually starts around a “zero station”. My cervix is “soft”, but not dilated or effaced, so he’s betting that I still have at least a week or two to go. I had this weird thought that I was going to go into labor some time during Week 39, but now I’m not so sure…I have a feeling Bagel will be cooking a bit longer than her proposed due date which means I still have a good couple of weeks to go. I’ve been having mild cramping a couple of times a day, but no Braxton Hicks or anything that would imply she’s truly ready to come out.

Energy-wise, I’ve been pretty “up” lately. I keep getting comments and stares from people at work saying, “Holy shit…you’re still here?” or “Aren’t you MISERABLE???”.  The truth is, (and I’m sort of embarrassed to admit this…) I’m really not miserable at all. My MIL emailed me yesterday saying I should really think about taking a few days off work before my due date–so I can…sit around? I feel like I would just start obsessing over labor symptoms and pick fights with Hubs. Also, who the hell knows when my due date is! I could be sitting around for a week. Me + free time = recipe for “Dr. Google” disaster.

Aside from an asshole that looks like the poster child for “Grape-Fest 2013” and some very mild finger swelling and cankles, I am still enjoying the sensation of being pregnant.  I do get a sense that Bagel is less mobile in there–she doesn’t kick me anymore, only stretches and pushes. I love to feel her push and hiccup…I think I will miss this the most about being pregnant. It will certainly feel odd not to sense her every move inside of me once she is born.

I guess right now, I’m just trying to savor every moment of my pregnancy and enjoy it…there is a whole new experience coming at me soon…

So this is heartburn

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Oh, heartburn, you little minx you. I thought I had successfully avoided it, but nope. I’m up at 1:30AM feeling like I’ve swallowed lava.

I’m attempting a remedy that I initially thought to be counter-intuitive:  drinking a glass of warm water with lemon. The interwebs told me this was good, so I’m giving it a go. Lemon is an alkaline (not acid )when ingested, and is supposed to help neutralize your stomach acid. I have to say, it’s working nicely! Burny hot lava feeling is now down to mildly uncomfortable roasting marshmallow feeling in my throat.

Today begins a 4 day weekend for me, and what I’m realizing will be the last big holiday weekend sans child. I have absolutely zero plans other than hanging out at home, cleaning, and doing last minute baby prep. Maybe watching some Wire? Reading? On one hand, I’m so grateful to have this quiet time. On the other hand, I feel like somewhat of a loser for not having any BBQ plans with friends, or ambitions to brave the crowds and see a fireworks show. Part of me wishes my dance card weren’t so empty, but I need to take some responsibility for basically  being a hermit the last few months of the pregnancy and not really making an effort with friends. Now that I’m 9 months along, the thought of doing anything that requires me to be on my feet for extended periods of time, or amongst hot and sweaty crowds is doubly unappealing. The sulky part of me feels that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and once I have a kid, my friends (the vast majority of whom are childless) will have even less interest in doing things with me. Neither Hubs nor I have ever been social butterflies, but I don’t want Bagel to grow up like I did, with parents who never had any friends over, and basically never went out. I’m hoping to find a happy medium somewhere, but does anyone have any advice on how to successfully maintain friendships with friends who have no kids, and who probably don’t want to spend their free weekends hanging with yours?

Bagel’s stretching is getting stronger every day, and her movements at times really tire me out. She never seems to grow tired of moving one leg up and down the side of my stomach, and now that she’s bigger, I just watch her little heel traverse my belly. I can’t wait to actually feel that little heel and give it a little squeeze. Sitting up from bed, or doing anything that involves standing is…interesting. I never understood what other pregnant women bitched about when they talked about getting out of bed with a big belly. I get it now.

I’ve had a few Braxton Hicks the last few days, but the most noticeable new symptom is cervical cramping. I’ve had cramps that last about 5 minutes at a time that feel like mild menstrual cramps. I’m hoping this is my cervix doing its business to prep and get Bagel out safe and sound. I have a doc appointment on Monday and he will check to see what (if anything) is going on in there. My hope is that by Monday (38 weeks, 1 day) I will at least be somewhat effaced.

Let’s kick this shit into gear!

The heat is on

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37 weeks. Am I really at this point of the pregnancy already?

Not much to report this morning. Aside from it being 110 degrees here yesterday, I survived the scorching hot LA weekend by wandering aimlessly between movie theaters and malls. This was the first weekend I really “felt” pregnant. It honestly didn’t have much to do with the heat–It has more to do with Bagel’s weight, I think. She legitimately feels pretty heavy now, and I am feeling it mostly when I walk/waddle. I’ve been getting a lot of comments like, “you’re so pregnant, you must be DYING in this heat!” Honestly, I don’t notice a shift at all in my body temp. 110 degrees is 110 degrees in my book. It’s fucking hot. We’re ALL fucking hot. I would be drenched and miserable if I wasn’t pregnant. Hubs and I tried to do our morning walk to Starbucks on Saturday, and it ended up being 90 degrees by 10AM when we set out. On the way back, I got some really painful uterine cramps on my right side (it felt like there was a bruise on one spot of my uterus, if that makes sense?) I made it home, and the pain went away when I lay down, but I think our walks are out for the time being. I started Googling obsessively from bed, and from what I gather, it was either some form of Braxton Hicks or round ligament pain. Bagel has been moving around a lot, so I’m not worried it’s a placenta issue, but it was still nerve wracking walking home, huffing and puffing, and stopping to hold my side due to the pain.

I have been having maybe 1-2 Braxton Hicks a day for the last few days. The biggest one came when I was making dinner last night–a tightness around the top of my stomach, all the way to my back that didn’t let up for a couple of minutes. It’s the strangest feeling. Not painful, just this uncontrollable contortion of my stomach muscles that I can’t do anything to make go away. Aside from those and the finger swelling, the symptom that has been giving me the most trouble recently is something that (I think?) may be acid reflux? Although…it doesn’t burn? Basically, if I eat a meal and then try to go to bed shortly afterward, the food feels like it’s coming back up my throat. It’s horrible, and it only happens when I lie down. Twice last night I fell asleep, only to wake up gasping/choking for air because I somehow burped in my sleep and inhaled my gross burp reflux. Tums do nothing for this because it’s not neutralizing acidity. I think it’s simply coming down to the fact that my stomach is very squished right now.

Hubs and I had sex for the first time in weeks yesterday. It was…ok? The  positions I’m being forced into are just not conducive for me “crossing the finish line”, if you know what I mean… I am glad we did have sex, as I always feel closer to him when we do, and I think it’s healthy for our relationship, but I can’t wait for the days when we can go back to just boinking with abandon. I miss the light heady feeling of a couple of glasses of wine, and great sex.

I still feel like I have at least a couple more weeks until I meet Bagel,  but it’s strange to have this huge event looming and not know the exact date. It’s like telling someone, “Hey! You’re going to meet your husband and get married in 6 months, but you won’t know who it is, or when it will happen”. I guess I feel that I know a little bit about Bagel already based on the way she moves in me. She likes pushing and stretching her legs across my entire stomach and sometimes will thrash around for a few minutes as if she’s trying really hard to get comfortable, then go silent and nap for an hour. Almost like she has just poured her heart out into something she was passionate about, and is “spent”. She is a strong baby, but rarely hurts me with kicks or jabs. Her pushing against my abdomen can be intense, but once she gets out a stretch, she is calm.  She gets annoyed when I change positions too much in bed, and loud crowds or movies make her kick up a storm. Not sure if that’s because she’s scared, or if she enjoys the noise. She also is soothed by the sound of running water. She could be kicking up a storm, and as soon as I turn on the water for a bath, she quiets down. My girl will love the tub.

Rub a dub dub.

Happy Monday.