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A Marathon that Never ends

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This entry is rushed.  Shira may be sleeping for 10 minutes now, so I figure now is a good time to update. I feel like I’m running a marathon that never ends. Every day is blending into the next, and it’s tough to keep up. Shira is a doll. Seriously, I love her to bits, but she is getting to be more and more demanding as she hits 5 weeks (tomorrow). Something about this week has made her cranky and clingy. The Wonder Weeks talks about this developmental milestone having these symptoms, and I’m hoping it’s a phase .Shira has never been a particularly calm child, but this past week she has had two modes: “Passed the Fuck Out” or “Screaming Bloody Murder”. She will tolerate her play mat or changing table for a good 5 minutes before screaming to be held again, and her poor little arms and legs are a bit spastic which agitates her to no end.

This is us at any given moment during the day when she decides to have a food coma and will not tolerate being put down to sleep:

Shira: drunk on milk. Me: exhausted.

Shira: drunk on milk. Me: exhausted.


I have been trying to find a carrier she will tolerate, but every single time I try one (the Ergo was the latest adventure) she screams like I’m torturing her. She ONLY wants to be held, or sleeps in her rocker, stroller, and/or the Co-sleeper, or splashes around in the tub (she LOVES bath time, and sometimes I wish I could just keep her in the tub for hours). By 7PM she has fritzed out, and gets seriously cranky. She then passes out for a good 6-7 hours (I know, I’m lucky) wakes, feeds, sleeps another two hours, wakes, feeds, sleeps another two hours, and then our day begins again at about 7AM. She sleeps maybe 2-3 hours total during the day in little nap spurts of 15 minutes. I don’t know what “normal” is, but it is certainly exhausting to do the daily routine of consolling her, feeding her, changing her, and listening to her scream. That being said, there is a calm during the storm each day where she looks at me intensely and breaks into HUGE smiles which make me flip out and love her even more.

I found that I was barely getting out of the house at all so I forced myself to join a mommy group once a week. My first class was on Wednesday and it was SO NICE to be around other moms going through similar things. I was terrified of driving with Shira by myself, but we made it, and Shira was on her best behavior (only had one melt down in class which was remedied by a ready bottle of breast milk and a nap on me).

This girl is intense. But so damn lovable.

Either her hairline's receding or her head is growing! Either way, that smile is melt worthy!

Either her hairline’s receding or her head is growing! Either way, that smile is melt worthy!

About Sunny

I'm a happily married, 31 year old gal who is just starting her journey to conceive. I also have ovaries that may need a jump start. This blog is an attempt to channel my obsessive research on my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome into something a pregnancy test. That would be awesome. I also hope that other women with this condition will find support in this blog. There are a lot of us out here! Happy reading, whatever your journey may be.

11 responses »

  1. Two things…one, i swear all babies scream when they are first put in carriers, but they don’t hate it they love it. But give it time, stick her in one then GO, walk for 10 minutes, NOT around your house, go outside and walk around the block, if she doesn’t calm down or fall asleep in 10 minutes then yes…she may hate it, but I can almost guarantee you that she will be in love with it and sleep happily for hours in it. Two, the screaming? a lot of people don’t believe me, but i swear cutting out dairy helps with this. It takes 2 weeks of being dairy free to get it out of your system but it was a lifesaver for me and NO ONE recommended it to me until I was ready to pull my hair out and couldn’t do anything but cry all day long alongside my baby who was either crying or sleeping…he was never happy except for about 10 minutes in the morning and would never let me put him down, i thought i was going to go insane. But 2 weeks after I cut out the dairy…brand new baby, i could put him down, he would smile and happily amuse himself on the ground or in a swing or in SOMETHING that wasn’t me. It can’t hurt anything and it may just save your sanity!
    Good luck, it gets better!!!

    • Jes, you may very well be right. Ugh…I just need to get up the nerve to cut out the dairy completely. It’s a big step for me…If things don’t improve in a week, I will absolutely try this. How many weeks old was Jett when he was this fussy?

      • Just before 6 weeks…and it got much worse, it was 10 weeks before I quit dairy and 12 weeks before the screaming stopped. ROUGH 6 WEEKS! It’s not as hard as it sounds to stop dairy, in fact I’m just getting back into it after a year dairy free and finding I can’t tolerate it very well anymore! At this point I still substitute non dairy for dairy when I’m baking, coconut milk instead of milk, grapeseed oil instead of butter etc…not sure if I’ll ever go back completely!
        In the meantime, another great trick I forgot to mention with the wrap, put the baby in a wrap and bounce on a yoga ball, babies LOVE this, it was the only way we could get Jett to fall asleep for the longest time.

      • Maybe you could try just the main dairy products first and see if you notice a difference?

  2. OH what a cutie! im sorry to hear about the fussiness and crying throughout the day. I read that babies just need love and touch and it sounds like you are giving her both. Hang in there mama!

  3. My baby went through that phase twice so far (she’s 14 weeks now), and her 8 week one was even worse than her 6 week one. Thankfully, it really was just a phase. And one day she was just over it. Learning about the Wonder Weeks was really, really helpful.

    I’m a dairy eater and outside those two wonder weeks, my baby is a pretty real happy baby. I’ll cross my fingers for you that you don’t have to cut it out completely 😉

    My daughter definitely has gotten easier with age! Husband and I were just reminiscing about the days that we fell asleep the moment our head hit the pillow because we were so exhausted. Now we actually have energy to talk at night… it’s crazy.

  4. Oh, she is so sweet!! Also, I think we got the same car seat as you. 🙂 I guess you just have to try and be thankful for the positives here (that she sleeps 7 hours at night, and that she’s giving you little smiles) while powering through the negatives. It just seems like babies change so much, and they love one thing for a week before hating it the next… it’s so unpredictable sometimes, which I’m sure is crazy frustrating. But sounds like you’re doing your best. That photo of you two is precious, btw…

  5. Apple took so many naps in the moby, for a while he was napping at least once if not twice a day in it, sometimes for 1-2hrs! It is intimidating at first to learn how to put it on but it is really easy. Apple LOVES it. LOVES IT. He weighs over 20lb now and I still put him in it for short things and he starts laughing and gets really excited when he sees me put it on. He loves it.

    Banana doesn’t like carriers, she doesn’t want them, and I barely use them for her because she just squirms. However, I have had her in a carrier for around 3 hours before, and she was fine and even napped in it.

    Some babies love the carriers and some don’t. Some love certain carriers and not others. Banana liked the ergo better than the moby, as much as she liked carriers at all. Do you have the heart-2-heart infant insert for the ergo? Some babies don’t like their legs dangling out of the sides when they’re little, and the insert helps keep them in the fetal position while pressed against your body. At the beginning I also use the Mei Tai and Apple also liked that one (in fetal position with his legs tucked in) but then I got the moby etc etc.

    But I agree with Jesica – in the beginning, walking around the apartment/house is not enough walking. Take a walk outside. It got to the point where Apple would fall asleep in the moby almost instantly, but that was after a lot of association with those long walks outside.

    You will find what works for you. And likely this is a leap, and next week she will be all smiles. ❤

    • Sooooo helpful to hear this! Shira is an incredibly active baby. She has been trying to lift her head and gain neck control basically from the time I took her to the hospital. If I put her on my chest or stomach she arches her back and neck like she’s trying to crawl or turn her head, and so she ends up doing the same thing in the carrier. I do have the infant insert for the Ergo and she HATED it!! I swear I have never heard her cry so loudly as when I put her in that thing! It has also been unbearably hot here, and I feel like this may be contributing to some of the problem. She starts sweating in the carriers and I’m sure it’s really uncomfortable for her. We will keep trying, though! I really want this to work so I can be more mobile with her.

      • Oh yeah it can be hard to enjoy something when you are sweaty…! It’s unfortunate it’s so hot! I seriously depended on the carriers and strollers and outside walking for the first 5 months of the babies’ lives. For some reason, being *outside* was the important part – Apple would wake up as soon as we would go inside, even if I didn’t stop walking. Exhausting.

        And- that’s how Banana was – always trying to stiffen up, she started using the doorway bouncer at 4 months (2.5mo adjusted) because her head control was really good and she *demanded* to be bounced for so long each day it was exhausting. Of course, now we are paying for that, we have to do physical therapy to make sure she doesn’t turn into a toe walker, but at the time it was what kept her from crying so we did it. Whatever works!

  6. First, she continues to be the cutest baby ever. Seriously. Not just saying that.

    Second, I really appreciate your honest posting about new parenthood. I’m getting nervous and terrified and it’s so nice to read a real account.

    Third, I wish I had more practice advice like others who are mothers, but I will just say to remember that each stage is temporary, you will find yourself again on the other side, and keep paying attention to the little moments that make it worth it.


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