My weight has been, well, weighing on me lately. I’ve always felt pretty good about my body, and have had an athletic shape. I loved running, hiking, and doing crazy workout programs I had no business attempting. I’ve held steady around 125-130 pounds for all of my adult life until pregnancy when I gained (bum bum bummmm) 55 pounds and went up to 170.
Now, eight months post partum and I still don’t have a hope and a prayer of fitting into my old jeans. I have a stomach roll that is making me look and feel about 3 months pregnant, and I saw a picture of myself taken recently and I truly didn’t look like myself. I looked like a pudgy extremely exhausted version of myself.. Bottom line is, I’m done feeling this way, and need to do something about it! When I was breast feeding (or, in my case, pumping), I dropped weight very quickly to a point where I was at 137. I kept saying if I lost 10 pounds, it would be perfect. That felt manageable. Somehow in the 3 months since I’ve stopped all pumping, shit went south. I went to the doctor recently to check on my amazing PCOS hormones post pregnancy, stepped on the scale, and nearly had a heart attack. In 3 months I gained 7 pounds and I went up to 144! They are checking my thyroid to make sure nothing crazy is going on there, but the bottom line is, I think the reason I’m gaining is that I’m still eating like a pregnant/nursing lady, and I’m not doing any exercise.
I have downloaded an app called Lose It! which essentially takes your current weight and goal weight and tells you how many calories you need to consume per day in order to lose x amount of pounds per week. Basically, if I want to lose 20 pounds by August, I need to be on a 1400 calorie a day diet.
I’m terrified to say the least.
I also know that I can eat a bit more some days if I exercise, so that is providing me some relief, although the thought of going into a gym or doing other sweaty activities that will make me feel my butt jiggle is hard.
Along with my goal to lose weight, I also want to run the LA Marathon again in March. I love running, and the course of this race is pretty awesome. We’ll see how it goes. For now, I’m focusing on trying to make it through one day keeping to my calorie goal. It’s proving difficult (I’m pretty hungry right now, and I only have 450 calories to go for dinner.)