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See spot.

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See Spot say, WTF.

I woke up this morning to thick brown spotting discharge. The stuff dreams are made of. Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, you have failed me. I had a feeling that the low amounts of estrogen in this pill would not be good for someone like me whose estrogen levels are already crap. (From what I understand, spotting occurs on the pill mainly due to a lack of estradiol). Of course, when I logically brought this up to my gyno as he was giving me the free sample he “poo-pooed” it, and said it would be fine and that many patients like the new “low estrogen” pills. Too much estrogen leads to cancer, yadda yadda… Yes. Yes, I’m sure it does. But it’s because most bodies ALREADY MAKE ENOUGH ESTROGEN.  Can someone tell me why it is that doctors always seem to look at patients as a collection of statistics rather than individual cases? It’s making my menstrual blood boil. Because if my gyno took one look at my labs, he’d see that after 4 months of nary a period, my estradiol levels were basically undetectable. I mean, seriously. I’m not trying to be a pain, I’m not trying to be “special”–it’s just that, well, my case IS fucking special. I’m not like the 90% of women out there who wander in and out of the gyno aimlessly with a huge shit eating grin on her face and blindly take pills prescribed to me. I need a bit more analysis than, “Well, this should work for you because so many women respond well to it.”

Guess what other drug he said this about?

Wait for it…wait for it…

If you guessed Clomid, you’d be correct! As soon as I did my homework on Clomid, I discovered that many women w/ PCOS don’t respond well to it due to the fact that it screws with estrogen levels and lowers them, thus making the uterine lining too thin for implantation. Hot flashes and dry CM are also another indicator of screwy estrogen levels. Many women are even given estrogen supplements along with Clomid to help with these issues. Of course, when I brought this up with him, he gave me the “so many women respond really well to Clomid. You should give it a try” response. Just like he did with this birth control that I had reservations about.

Yes, I know I’m over reacting a bit…spotting isn’t the end of the world, and hopefully it will lead to a full bleed as soon as I stop the pill pack on Sunday. It’s more the feeling that I am not being listened to by my doctor. That I’m being treated like every other one of his fertile patients.

Also: word to the wise. If you’re Googling: “spotting on ortho tri cyclen lo” DON’T go on a run of the mill birth control message board. You’ll get questions like this:

“I already have too kidz, and I’m having brown blood. Does this mean I won ever be able to have more kidzz??!!!?”

Or this gem:

“I’m on ortho lo and I’m 6DPO, but I’m spotting! Does this mean I’m pregnant? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP???”

Really. You’re 6DPO. On birth control? It was all I could do to not hit a “reply” button with a really snarky response. I feel like if you’re taking birth control, you should be forced to know how it works. Like I said, these women just smile, nod, and take these magic birth control pills their doctors shove at them by the fist-fulls, and they don’t have a goddamn clue what is going on in their bodies.

Ugh, it’s so tiring to be up here on this soapbox!

So now, assuming I get a full bleed at some point soon, I might be starting Clomid early next week. We’ll see if my theories on my estrogen levels prove correct this time around. I anticipate lots of night sweats, and thin uterine lining in my future. I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude about it all…but this whole thing feels sucky right now.