As many of my readers may have guessed by now….I’m just a girl who can’t say no to a challenge! So a couple of days ago, when I read that Belle was doing a 7 day diet detox, I had to jump in like the insane mad woman I am and attempt to get back on track with my Elimination Diet (the only diet to date that has inspired my wonky uterus to actually bleed–at least that’s my hypothesis since I got a period 4 weeks into the diet, and hadn’t bled for 8 months prior to the diet.) But I digress.
In those 4 weeks on the Elimination Diet, I felt great, and swore up and down that I would never go back to unhealthy eating again…And then I had a really shitty couple of months and Charlie Sheened my diet with booze, cigarettes, and copious amounts of cheese. Belle’s diet detox post was like a siren call… I had just polished off an entire box of Amy’s Mac and Cheese the day I read her post (perhaps this is why I’m gaining weight on Jenn’s fitness challenge I’m currently partaking in? Hmmmm). I took my blood glucose levels after the box of mac n cheese, and the results scared me. After 45 minutes, my blood sugar was at 149 which is pretty high–much higher than any levels I’ve ever tested at…like…prediabetic high…. Let’s just say I scared myself straight. Back to the diet it is.
Yesterday was my Day 1 of Elimination Diet Redux. I now remember why I told myself the LAST TIME I did the Elimination Diet why I would NEVER go back to unclean eating again: The freaking headache. Damn I hate the Elimination Diet Headache. It happens every time I decide to eliminate sugar and caffeine, but on the Elimination Diet I can’t soothe myself with buttery croissants or warm, flaky French bread.
Instead, last night I soothed myself with a salad.
Salads are kind of like that really reeeeeallllly smart, nice guy who liked you in high school, who your mother told you would make the perfect husband and father some day, but he kind of creeped you out and annoyed you when he followed you around like a puppy dog and didn’t make you pine after him like that 19 year old college freshman who drove the light blue ’64 Mustang did did. You reallllly try to want the salad, but in the end, you end up losing your virginity one summer afternoon to the guy in the Mustang when his parents are at work.
I will neither confirm nor deny that this happened to me.
I pushed through yesterday’s detox diet Day 1 with this craptastic–err–I mean–AMAZING AND DELICIOUS!–menu. I tend to eat at all hours of the day, little bits at a time, so I usually break my meals up into “morning, afternoon, and evenings” vs “breakfast, lunch and dinner”. Sometimes, my “meal” lasts a few hours as I pick at it at my desk.
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (tastes like raspberry flavored tree bark. Yick)
Green Vibrance drink with Pom juice (Belle described it once as tasting like the inside of a lawnmower. This is truly what it tastes like)
Shot of iron (tastes like blood mixed with raisin juice. YUCK!)
One large fillet of grilled salmon, one large red potato, 2 cups of grapes
4 slices of turkey, 1 plum, 1 cucumber with Annie’s dressing, 2 rice cakes with agave syrup
Big salad w/ chicken breast and vegetable soup.
Has been more blah of the same.
Quinoa rice cereal with agave
2 cups grapes, one potato, one peach
Big steak salad.
Still have no flippin clue what I’m doing for dinner, but it may involve lamb, hummus, and some stuffed grape leaves.