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CD20–Am I really typing “20”??

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I’m so used to typing CD 286, or CD 79 that I am still walking around with my jaw on the floor in disbelief that I actually ovulated. One year. One entire damn year I’ve waited to ovulate, and man, am I enjoying it. It feels kind of like that first hot shower you take after a week of camping with no soap, toilet paper, or toothbrush. 100mg of Clomid, I doubted you, but you pulled through, son, you pulled through.

This is my first 2ww EVER. I am meeting it with a sense of excitement, possibilities, and also the fear of let down, which, let’s face it…ugh. I can’t go there right now. I have to keep positive. 4DPO, and all is well.

I get giddy every time I think about ovulating. Hubs gets super giddy, too. Last night, he did a weirdly cute bow towards my uterus, and put his hands on my stomach. Somewhere in my body, there is a teeny tiny egg floating around which may or may not be fertilized at this point. My temps are still up nice and high, thus reinforcing the fact that yes, I did ovulate. Me. I ovulated. I STILL can’t quite wrap my brain around that.

I have been trying to see if I feel any early symptoms. I’m always tired (like, sleep-in-my-car-during-lunch-hour-because-I-can’t-keep-my-damn-eyes-open sometimes tired), so I don’t know if that would be a true test of anything. If anything, I’ve had more energy and less sleep the past few days. Boobs aren’t sore at all, and I don’t have to pee frequently. Only thing I have felt a lot today is the chills (no idea why, probably hormonal), and I have two canker sores on the inside of my mouth which is very rare for me. I have read that those can be caused premenstrualy.

We’ll see what the next few days brings. I assume 7DPO is too soon to test, which means I will be off to France and then won’t test until I get back home at 14DPO. Drats!  I can’t bring myself to test in France without being close to Hubs. Hubs said it would be all right if I did…I just feel weird about it. If I haven’t gotten my period by the time I leave France, there will be some SERIOUS cray cray on this blog, my friends. In a good way.

 

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My 100th Post

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“When I was a girl…we used cigarettes to induce labor.”

Pregnancy 101’s fab post has inspired me to do a 100th Entry post as well!

It’s been a lightening fast five months. The concept that we are now four months into 2012 is crazy. Cray. Zee.

But seriously.

I could not have gotten through the last five months without the support of this blog community. I don’t know what I would have done…”thank you” isn’t enough. I wish I could give all of you a big IRL hug. Your comments, your advice, your funny, poignant, inspiring writing, the way you all bare the rawest, truest sides of yourselves…you are the reason that I feel strong enough to bear this journey. Because, at times, it can be a very lonely journey.

In purely scientific terms, I haven’t really progressed much in terms of where I’m at fertility-wise since I started the blog. After all of this time, I have still not ovulated. Who the hell knows if this new fangled diet will have any impact. There is no way to know if I am any closer to conceiving than I was back in November. These last five months have been a trial to see if my body will wake up and join the party…but I think it’s safe to say after 100 posts that my party is just not cool enough for Syndee and Ali. I will need to resort to more drastic measures to get them to attend, ie: Clomid. Beyond that, I do not know.

On November 10, 2011, this blog was born. I honestly had no idea how blogging would be, or what I would experience through writing, only that I needed to write A) because I needed an outlet to brain dump all of my fertility related anxieties and B) I was driving Hubs nuts with my constant obsessing over fertility. What I have ultimately gained from writing is more than just an outlet. I gained an inlet. I gained a community.

In the course of the blog, and attempting to remedy my ovulation problems I have:

Named my period something other than Aunt Flo

Took Provera, and didn’t even freaking bleed from it (thanks, low estrogen!)

Took Metformin for 2 months (and have subsequently stopped–I couldn’t handle the 24/7 diarrhea)

Took Soy Isoflavones (they did nothing. NOTHING.)

Got a killer bladder infection that I attempted to wait out for a week to see if it cleared on its own. BIG mistake.

Traveled to Toronto.

Sprained my neck in yoga and haven’t been back since. I suck.

Had dinner with an Uber Fertile who loves to use me ordering water instead of booze as an awkward segue into whether or not I am TTC.

Had an awesome Oscars Party at my house.

Named my ovaries.

Met Intuitive Health Lady.

Got Hub’s SA results back

Ate soup dumplings in NYC!

Hung with HRF in Boston!

Started my Elimination Diet and began my Poop Diary.

And now, here we are.

Thanks for coming along for the ride with me. Here’s to another 100 entries!