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PCOS is messing with my head

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It has been one full week since I got my positive pee stick. Each day this past week has felt like a freaking eternity. I’m doing all right…if doing all right means only squeezing my boobs and pinching my nipples around 30 times a day to make sure that they are still sufficiently hurting and tender. The boobs are pretty much my one lone symptom right now. Earlier in the week my abdomen was feeling very full and crampy, which I was grateful for, but the last few days, the cramps haven’t been very strong, and only come very occasionally.  I suppose I’m a bit more tired than usual, but then again, I love napping in general, and did so even before pregnancy, so it’s pretty normal for me to curl up in bed at around 2PM on the weekend for a little R&R.

There’s only one other “symptom” of my pregnancy that I have…

Yep, you guessed it!

I still haven’t gotten my period.

This is a terrific indicator of pregnancy for everyone who menstruates like clockwork, but for me and my broken body, pregnancy is feeling a lot like… the entire year I just spent without a period. My head is having a very hard time believing that I’m pregnant, even though all signs point to “Of course you are, dumb ass.” It’s just that…well…I was always the one that rolled her eyes at the part in the movie where the accidentally pregnant chick realizes she’s “late” after one week. After my first ovulatory cycle off the pill in September of 2011, I was twelve months “late” until Clomid finally kicked in in September of 2012.

Not that I’m complaining about this whole lack of period thing AT ALL right now (I want that bitch GONE for the next 9 months), it’s just a bummer that the PCOS and anovulation has seriously messed with my head. It made me wonder if anyone else who has struggled with PCOS has ever felt this sort of surreal feeling around pregnancy. Or maybe everyone feels a bit surreal about it the first week? I’m trying to relax and get into this, but the year I spent feeling barren and menstruation-less is hard to shake.  I got so used to not having a period, it started to become my “normal state” versus anything remotely indicative of pregnancy.

Has anyone with anovulation had a hard time synching their brain with their body during pregnancy? I’m hoping that the ultrasound on Tuesday will help me connect a bit more to the little tadpole inside of me. Keep growing in there, little one!