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Best Damn Wheat/Dairy/Sugar Free Banana Bread EVER.

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Well gluten free sisters…you may want to put a bib and a handywipe on your sensitive intestines for this one, because let me tell you: once you sample this banana bread, even REAL banana bread won’t cut it anymore. (Ok, that’s sort of lie because I have a recipe for the most fabulous “normal intestined people” banana bread ever, but this one comes in a VERY close second.)

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t be gluten or dairy free, as I loves me some mac and cheese (unfortunately, the explosive diarrhea I get after eating it indicates my body thinks otherwise.) Also, with PCOS, it’s best to stay away from it for now until I can figure out a way to knock myself up (although Honey Boo Boo’s mom had 4 kids by the time she was 32 and lives off a diet of funnel cakes, cheezy balls, and tater tots, so yeah.) Anyway, my point is: although all of this clean living stuff has made my body feel so much better, I am never going to get into the taste of kale, and most gluten free bread products taste like crap.

So I took matters into my own hands, and damnit. I’m proud of this banana bread. So proud that I completely forgot to take pics of the last loaf I made.

The recipe was inspired by a recipe I found on Mudspice, however I significantly modified it based on a few tricks I’ve learned about cooking banana bread over the years, and based on the fact that I didn’t want to use refined sugar or any butter/dairy. As I mentioned, I had a fabulous recipe I was using that wasn’t gluten free, so I used some of the same tactics for making THAT banana bread, and applied it to gluten free.

On the “fussy to make” scale it’s about a 5 or 6, in that it requires three bowls, a beater and an “alternating wet and dry ingredients” mixing technique at the end. You also should not eat this until the following day, as the flavors need time to “mellow”, and the bread needs to chillax and settle. Patience, grasshopper.


1 cup brown rice flour

2/3 cup chickpea flour

1/3 cup tapioca flour

1tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

3 very ripe bananas frozen, thawed, and peeled (the bananas will look almost black. Do not be afraid.)

1/4 cup plus 1/8 cup blue agave

1/2 cup canola oil

2 eggs

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup soy creamer (you may be able to substitute a non-soy based creamer, although I’ve never tried it)

1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350.

Dry mixture: Mix all of the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a medium bowl.

Wet mixture: In a separate bowl, combine the agave and the oil. Beat on high until mixture has a creamy pale yellow texture.
Add the eggs and beat again until everything is mixed.

In another bowl, peel the bananas and drain any excess liquid they may have released from the thaw. Mash them up good,  and stir in the 1 tsp of baking soda. Add this to the wet mixture and stir.

Add about 1/3 the dry mixture into the wet mixture, stir completely. The add about 1/4 cup of the soy creamer. Stir. Alternate with 1/3 dry mix, stir, then the last of the soy creamer, stir, then add the last of the dry mixture and stir.

Stir in walnuts.

Grease a bread pan with baking grease of your choice (I use PAM which is not au natural, but it’s because I’m lazy.)

Pour mixture into pan and bake for 40-45 minutes. Bread will be golden brown on top, and firm to touch. Knife will come out clean. In my oven, 42 minutes is the perfect baking time for this bread.

Let cool for 5 minutes, and then remove from the pan and set on cooling rack. After a couple of hours (once there is no more steam emanating from it), wrap tightly in plastic wrap and pop it in the fridge. Cut the next morning, and serve. This bread is moist, non crumbly, and absolutely delicious!

Reacquainting myself with salads

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Yesterday, the diet made me do crazy things: Like eat a huge, vegetable laden salad for lunch.

Before I left for work, I made a olive oil and vinaigrette dressing which took me all of 5 minutes:

“So Easy A 5 Year Old Who Is Allowed To Play With Knives Can Make It” Vinaigrette Dressing:

1/2 cup cold pressed olive oil

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

2 cloves of garlic, sliced (you can crush the garlic if you want a spicier more garlic flavored dressing)

salt and pepper to taste

1. Shake everything in a container with a lid.

2. Head to nearest supermarket salad bar to make your salad because you’re lazy, and hate cutting vegetables.

I don’t know about you, but homemade dressing always sketches me out a bit. I think it’s the mixing of oil with spices, powders, etc–it just looks goopy. That being said, this dressing tasted pretty yummy, and when I look at the ingredients on some of the dressings I’ve been eating before, this homemade stuff is about a trillion times healthier.

If there is one thing this diet is bringing my attention to, it’s how many processed foods I eat on a daily basis. It scares me that I can’t remember the last time I ate a big, healthy salad. The idea of eating a bunch of lettuce and chopped veggies isn’t appealing to me for whatever reason. In Elimination Diet Land, however, by the time lunch rolled around I was so hungry that the Ralph’s salad bar salad actually looked amazingly delicious.

After work, I forced myself to Whole Foods to buy some lamb and yam for my next recipe, which I like to call:

Lamb n’ Yam

One all natural lamb shoulder cut per person

One Yam/sweet potato

1. Sprinkle lamb with salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste

2. puncture yam a few times, wrap in a paper towel, and nuke it for 7 minutes

3. while the yam is nuking, cook the lamb for about 4 minutes per side in a pan lightly oiled with olive oil.

4. Cut open yam. Sprinkle yam with cinnamon if desired.

5. Eat lamb n’ yam in front of the TV and zone out because you’ve had a rough day and are going through caffeine withdrawl.

6. Wish that you could also have some mint jelly for the lamb, and butter for the yam, but also note how delicious it tastes anyway.

During the work week, I really only have the time and energy to make dishes that are this simple. I usually get home around 7PM, so anything gourmet will have to wait for the weekend. I enjoy cooking, so we’ll see what recipes I can come up with when I have more than 10 minutes!

Other than that, the fuzzy headache symptoms have subsided since yesterday, but we’ll see if that lasts.