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Pillow Talk

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OPEN ON: Sunny and Hubs’ Bedroom, 10PM

After a long day battling 2 hours of traffic, temperamental animation creators, a Chemistry night class, and an 85 degree house with no AC, we see Sunny, sprawled out on the unmade bed in a ratty t-shirt she’s had since 2001, and a pair of white granny panties.

In a cruel joke played on her by the universe, Sunny can never tell when she is going to ovulate. Therefore, in the off chance it happens, she and Hubs have been “doing it” for five days straight.

On a scale of one to ten, her horniness meter tonight is at “Eunuch”.

Hubs walks into the bedroom wearing old boxer briefs and nothing more.

Hubs looks at her.

She cracks one eye open and looks at him.

Hubs fist pumps the air, flexes comically, and flops into bed.

SUNNY (deadpan): Hawt.

Both lay next to each other as the ceiling fan whirls.

HUBS: Ready to bring it?

SUNNY (yawns): Yeah…I guess…

HUBS (also deadpan): Yippee.

Pause.

SUNNY: And this, little Jimmie? This is story of the night you were conceived…

END SCENE.

 

 

RIP, Vibrator

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Ahhh, back from Palm Springs, and refreshed! Hubs and I had an amazing time, and I was even able to relax given that he forbid me to make hard and fast dinner reservations for the sake of his sanity. We ended up finding an ah-may-zing restaurant right near our hotel that will go down as one of the best meals I’ve had in the last 5 years. If you’re ever in the Palm Springs area, do your mouth a favor and try Solano’s  Bistro. Holy crap. Ah-may-zing.

I’m still sleeping like shit, unfortunately. But, as is usually the case when I’m up at night, strange to-do-lists and random thoughts pop into my head. In last night’s case, I was lying in bed when my eyes popped wide open as I remembered that I left my vibrator in the hotel room in the little drawer next to the bible. Not only will I be missing my trusty friend…I can imagine some poor cleaning woman shaking her head and gingerly picking it up with gloves on…or maybe it’s still sitting in the bible drawer keeping Jesus company…at any rate, the thought was enough to cause me to cringe at 3AM this morning.

I have a weird feeling that 2012 will be a big year…although I can’t quite tell if it’s because I’m going to kick up the fertility stuff a good notch or two and I’m psyching myself out. I have not started my Metformin yet, but will do that Jan 2. I still haven’t gotten a “real” flow from the Provera…my last pill of the batch of 10 I took was on Monday. I’m continuing to spot a bit here and there, and have been continuing to have horrible night sweats and dry skin (I’m attributing this to low estrogen levels, even though I haven’t confirmed this with a blood test yet…) If I don’t get a period in the next week, I’m seeing the doc again.

Step #1:Buy a new vibrator ASAP!

Step #2: Start the Met next week. See the doc if my period hasn’t arrived yet. I still want to get some blood work done so I have a baseline for everything to come this year.

Step #3: Cross my fingers that I can start to cycle on Met. Also start some acupuncture.

Step #4: Attempt to maintain sanity and not drive Hubs crazy through all of this. Attempt to keep some semblance of a normal, sexy sex life…not just neurotic temp-based sex.