Clomid can go f itself

What has two thumbs and doesn’t respond to Clomid?

This girl!

No proof yet, but it’s CD13 and I’m experiencing no twinges, fluids, or body temps that would indicate anything is working. I just “feel” this cycle is a bust…my body still feels shut down (P.S: can I just ovulate ONE FUCKING TIME this year??? Too much to ask???)

So, today I made the first steps towards acknowledging that my problem is bigger (and more expensive) than I or my laid back gyno can figure out. I made appointments with 2 RE’s and will probably make two more tomorrow just to meet with each of them, see their clinics, and figure out who to go with. I’m ready to get this show on the road with someone who can actually make it their full time job to knock me up.

Goal is to have a doctor locked and loaded in November, and then some shit’s going down. Mama’s not playing anymore.

For those of you who have REs, what would you recommend I ask them in our initial meeting? What have you found is important in an RE, or in a clinic that you’re going to? Any advice would be welcome.

Ovaries…don’t MAKE me go Bald Brittney on your ass!

Bitches won’t ovulate with Clomid, 2,000mg of Metformin, and an absurd wheat/dairy/sugar/alcohol/caffeine free diet? I’m one head shave away from some serious cray cray.

 

My 100th Post

“When I was a girl…we used cigarettes to induce labor.”

Pregnancy 101’s fab post has inspired me to do a 100th Entry post as well!

It’s been a lightening fast five months. The concept that we are now four months into 2012 is crazy. Cray. Zee.

But seriously.

I could not have gotten through the last five months without the support of this blog community. I don’t know what I would have done…”thank you” isn’t enough. I wish I could give all of you a big IRL hug. Your comments, your advice, your funny, poignant, inspiring writing, the way you all bare the rawest, truest sides of yourselves…you are the reason that I feel strong enough to bear this journey. Because, at times, it can be a very lonely journey.

In purely scientific terms, I haven’t really progressed much in terms of where I’m at fertility-wise since I started the blog. After all of this time, I have still not ovulated. Who the hell knows if this new fangled diet will have any impact. There is no way to know if I am any closer to conceiving than I was back in November. These last five months have been a trial to see if my body will wake up and join the party…but I think it’s safe to say after 100 posts that my party is just not cool enough for Syndee and Ali. I will need to resort to more drastic measures to get them to attend, ie: Clomid. Beyond that, I do not know.

On November 10, 2011, this blog was born. I honestly had no idea how blogging would be, or what I would experience through writing, only that I needed to write A) because I needed an outlet to brain dump all of my fertility related anxieties and B) I was driving Hubs nuts with my constant obsessing over fertility. What I have ultimately gained from writing is more than just an outlet. I gained an inlet. I gained a community.

In the course of the blog, and attempting to remedy my ovulation problems I have:

Named my period something other than Aunt Flo

Took Provera, and didn’t even freaking bleed from it (thanks, low estrogen!)

Took Metformin for 2 months (and have subsequently stopped–I couldn’t handle the 24/7 diarrhea)

Took Soy Isoflavones (they did nothing. NOTHING.)

Got a killer bladder infection that I attempted to wait out for a week to see if it cleared on its own. BIG mistake.

Traveled to Toronto.

Sprained my neck in yoga and haven’t been back since. I suck.

Had dinner with an Uber Fertile who loves to use me ordering water instead of booze as an awkward segue into whether or not I am TTC.

Had an awesome Oscars Party at my house.

Named my ovaries.

Met Intuitive Health Lady.

Got Hub’s SA results back

Ate soup dumplings in NYC!

Hung with HRF in Boston!

Started my Elimination Diet and began my Poop Diary.

And now, here we are.

Thanks for coming along for the ride with me. Here’s to another 100 entries!

 

 

My Ovaries. A love/hate story.

I’m sitting here thinking of ways to be poetic about my ovaries, conception, ovulation, motherhood, etc, and really what I’m left with is the general consensus that my ovaries fucking suck. Why they suck is something that I’m still trying to get to the bottom of, and something that I will be attempting to explore in this blog. I got diagnosed with PCOS last year after having abnormal cycles my entire menstruating life. Like many women with PCOS, I was completely clueless that there was a major problem going on in the ovulation department. My periods came when they wanted to come, and that was normal…right? Sigh. I can’t believe how naive I was. Turns out that most women get their period every 28-35 days consistently, and me? Well…I’m lucky if I get one every 50 days. I also have bad PMS when I do get my period. The days leading up to the big visit from Aunt Flo are *awesome*– I can barely peel myslef out of bed, and I cry at Verizon commercials. True story.

Since being diagnosed with PCOS at the beginning of 2010, I went on the pill, began dating my now husband (known to this blog as “Hubs”), and got married to Hubs. I stopped taking the pill in August 2011 when we decided we wanted to start trying for a kid. I had one normal cycle that was 36 days long, and now? It’s back to nothing. Zip. Nada. I’m at CD 50 and counting. I’m trying to temp, and it’s all over the map. My body is resuming its post-pill non-ovulatory crap. I’m frustrated.

Since I have spent the last 2 months obsessively researching every single thing about PCOS on the internet, I thought that blogging about my punk-ass ovaries might be a good way to let off some steam, and wrap my head around this process.  I’m still very new to the world of attempting to have a baby, and as of now, I’m on no medication for my condition.

I will be posting more about PCOS and all of the fun symptoms many of us get to go through with this disease (I absolutely LOVE plucking my chin hairs in the bathroom mirror before bed), but at the core of it all, PCOS isn’t really about ovulation–it’s about the fact that the body is suffering from a hormonal imbalance that effects more than just reproduction. I need to make some big changes in my lifestyle in order to see a difference.

Many women with PCOS are also overweight, and for many of these gals, losing 5-10 pounds can help immensely with insulin resistance associated with PCOS and anovulation. Unfortunately, I’m a skinny girl with PCOS, so I’m not entirely sure if losing weight will help me at all. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.